Unlocking Your Booty...

There has been a lot of talk about gluetal activation, especially for athletes. The glutes are made up of three parts:

1. Gluteus Maximus
2. Gluteus Medius
   
3. Gluteus Minimus
   

These muscles make up a large chunk of the posterior chain, making it crucial that we use them optimally. In hopes of learning more about getting the most out of my butt, I went straight to the source:

Kim Kardashian

After only finding a sitcom-like reality show, I decided to go to the real experts, Eric Cressey and Mike Robertson.

"The fact of the matter is that most athletes are tight in the hamstrings, lower back, and hip flexors. This collection of problems is related to a lack of strength and motor control in the gluteal muscles. When the hip flexors (antagonists to the gluteus maximus) are overactive, the gluteus maximus becomes weak via a mechanism known as reciprocal inhibition."

Okay, so we know that underactive glutes are a problem, and are hurting my performance, so what can I do to turn them on?? Here is a great workout consisting of exercies to get your glutes activated and give them a great workout. Follow this protocol and you'll be filling your apple bottom jeans in no time!

The Protocol

1) Supine Bridge (2 Sets of 10) Squeeze your glutes and lift your butt off the ground thinking about lifting up one vertebrae at a time. Advanced athletes can attempt this on one leg, but do not sacrifice the technique!

2) Donkey Kicks (2 Sets of 10) Kick up and out and squeeze the glutes at the finish

3) Squats with complete hip extension (5 Sets of 3)



4) Split Squats (3 sets of 4 on each leg) Focus on a complete range of motion

5) Glute-Ham Raises (3 Sets of 8)

6) Free-Form Reverse Hyper (3 sets of 5) Squeeze your butt hard at the top!

7) Pull-Throughs (3 sets of 8) The bread and butter of the workout

If this protocol doesn't get your glutes on fire, then there will be only one method left...

Train Hard!

My work outs and shoulder and a new author.

This is what my last couple of days of trainning have looked like:
Wensday the 6th: Upper pull. 4x10 lat pulldowns, Chest supported rows 5x8-10, Cheapo pullups* 6x6, reverse flys 4x10, seated lat raise 4x10 (which I will never do again), Seated pulldowns (some fancy pull machine I like) 5x8, Two bicep workouts which are so miniscule I dont even write down which ones I do. and Farmers hold 100lb DB 3x 30 seconds.
Thursday: boring tempo, run/walk/jog on the tredmill for a total of 15minutes usually 45 seconds jogging 30 seconds waling on and off. Kept heart rate over 160. Then 4x8 GHR's real easy, 4x10 legpress, 4x10 pushups superset with decline abs.
Friday Max deads 3's and 1's which was a pitiful attempt, my heart wasnt really it it, I wasnt feeling it, copped out at 435. GHR's 5x6 45 degree BR 4x8.
Monday the 11th Bench 5x8-10, flys 4x12, knurl bar skull crushers 4x8, standing shoulder press 4x10, straight bar push ups w one band 5x10, tri pulldowns 4x12, and capble cross overs one handed 3x10 each side.
This is the typical work out I've been doing. Tomorrow is friday the 15th and Hopefully it will go a lot better then my max dead attempt and I'll be able to actually squat some weight.
Now Ive been wanting to say something about this for awhile cuase it really fucking irks me hard. I walk around teh weight room and what do I see? I see dickheads decline benching with bands up the asshole wraped around the bench. I see some fucking schmuck with a racket-action belt throw 225 on the bar, rep it out, then throw 405 on the bar rep it out maybe 4 times going the distance of about 6 smal inshces, not extending his elbows, not touching his chest, just moving the bar around space. He does this a few difference times. I see dudes lateral raising with 50 fucking pound dumbbells! and I'm floating through the gym being ever so careful and babying my god forsaken shoulder. What in the fuck is wrong with this picture? Chances are these are teh assholes that pop some protien after thier workout and eat god knows what afterwords thinking thier invinicible cuase "they go to the gym" or even worse, that 405 repper with the chest of titans and legs of a 11 year old girl goes off telling people how he benches so much -And me? I'm fucking stuck rubbing my deltiod, foam rolling, taking contrast showers, avoiding unilateral shoulder suported exercises, and HELLS for certain not benching 405 ever again. I lay down my arms here shameful and embaressed, this is what everything amounts to, my fucking shoulder. And watching dickheads and alchoholics alike out bench me and show off for the faggots. It was never suppose to be a fair trade off when knowledge was passed down to me through those who acutally understand these things, but somtimes I wish I was stuck in ignorance becuase my frustration amounts to a temper tantrum waiting to exhale. -Sigh-
Lastly, I'd like to post that there will be a second contributor to this blog now, a good friend of mine and a bit more of a technical mind who taught me almost everything I know abuot this game we call lookin good naked. watch for his posts.

New Year New Split

First off I'd like to mention my New Years resolution. I really want to fucking -do- tempo on my tempo days. I tend to shrug wensdays off as a "get my h/w done" kind of day. Though this day left ample oppertunity to catch up, it left a blank day in my training were I was just coming up short.
After a holiday which came up short on expectations of trainning, I must now propose my new concept for a trainning plan. I would like to enter a phase which puts emphasis on max lifts -almost-not-so-quite-probably to failure kind of lifts, once a week. rotating that lift on a weekly basis. While my supplementary lifts will be very hypotrophic. I am coming of a training plan which consisted of using mid weights with low reps, a great way to establish a base. Now I"d like to take the next 6 (?) weeks to get hypotrophic, be more serious about my cardio tempo days and lift my balls to the walls once a week. So it should probably look something like this:
Mon: Upper pull
Tue: Lower (not heavy) alternate push/pull
Wen Upper Push
Thur Tempo
Fri -Heavy- alternate push/pull
My upper days will base of bench or pull ups -for volume (reps) all work in the range of 4x10/5x8-10/6x6 that sort of thhang. The lower day that is not upper will be of a similar volume to the upper days. I will probably keep this at 6x6 for sake of ease. But depending on the day/time/business it is subject to change.
The heavy day will be obvious. Max 3's and 1's or just 3's maybe 5's if I am feeling outrageous. But it wil be a max work. Not lifting the load for ease as I was during my 40 day plan. Its time to crank up the CNS and build up some serious strength. The way I want it to work is if I squat on tuesday, I want to deadlift heavy on friday. so one affects the other.
Assistant work: I am limited to what I have time for and access to. But my Upper assistant work looks somthing like: DB floor press, seated shoulder press on the smith machine, forward rasies (really light), iso lateral chest press (If i am desperate), standing skull crushers w. knurl bar, Chest supported row, pull ups (all types of grips and movements), behind my back shrugs with mini straight bar or knurl bar, low rows w. either the rope or a handled long bar, machine flys (muscle beach), reverse flys, db curls, knurl bar curls, and all sorts of abs stuff that I usually skip due to time.
3-4 assistance excersise with each main workout, pending on all sots of stupid stuff that I wish to avoid.
I did not see a purpose to useing a heavy bench upper day. With a bum shoulder and a weak bench I thought this would be a fair time to make up for shape with what I lack in strength for my bench. I could alternate a weekly heavy bench day if need be. However I would encourage input on this topic. I know it is always good to lift heavy, which I intend to do, but maxing on bench is unappealing and does not fit snugly with this plan.
Lastly, I'd like to comment on why I am sticking with push pull, instead of heading back to the ever lasting upper lower split. Two reason (which is probably the more important ones) 1. I like it. I like push pull -a lot. 2. I find it "saves" my shoulder, or is a lot less stressful on my right shoulder. Not in the -I-cannot-touch-my-chest-when-I-bench kind of "hurt my shoulder" more like, this stupid fucking thing limits my intensity when banged up to the max. When experimenting with going back to upper lowerdays a week before my holiday break, my sort of -go fuck around- week after the 40 days were up, a serious increase in shoulder discomfort followed me throughout the week and part of the break (i.e I benched heavy). To avoid this, I thought hitting my shoulder from two seperate ways will ensure that I keep it healthy as it was during my 40 day work out.
Comment, discuss, critque, I am open for chaning this in many ways, but this is the structure I was hoping to follow. Currently I am lacking anything to train for. I am considering a strong man in early spring is possible. So I am hoping this will segway into some intent training weeks miday between now and the date of a potential competition. For now =GFH

Diet and trainning, concise statement.

I thought I could finally post something short, too the point, and with relevance to people who hopefully will be directed towards reading this. I apologize for my more technical readers for how blunt this will be.
So your done with your workout? What do you eat? -Let's take a step back for a moment, because we eed to recognize that whatever goes into your system after your workout isn't the most important meal. We should be looking at this as a mass of actions albeit, food that enters your mouth.
Protien: We need protein to rebuild. Some of the most important aspects of our bodies are built upon proteins. Our interest is the muscles. optimal recovery comes from eating lots of protein. The "experts" say 1g of protein per lbs of body mass. Admittedly, I have -no- idea where this number comes from. It's just what is out there consistently. however, in the words of Atomic dog: Starting breaking 250g's of protein, and magic will happen.
How? If it needed to be killed in order to reach your plate, than it will have protein. Meat, poultry, eggs are your best bet. So put some extra turkey on your sandwich, get some extra chicken or servings of meat. 20 g's is about equal to the size of a deck of cards of pure meat/chicken. this will help you count.
If you aren't drinking protein shakes than I do not even know why you are bothering reading this, cause you're wasting your time even more now. -Drink em, put em down, plug your nose up if you dint like it. Fuck it put honey in it if you have to. Just get em down.

Carbohydrate: Among some important things your body needs in order to recovery, and do other crazy shit we don't care about too much. Carb's have a complex past and even more confusing focus now. eat them -don't eat them- which ones to eat? Lets break this down simply: First you should determine how many servings you really need of carbs a day (efficient for caloric intact, since protien lacks sufficient calories on its own). When I was throwing I weight about 245-250 and was eating about 8 servings of carbs a day. thats about 2 each meal, with a snack. Typically I would eat potateo's with breakfast and a bowl of cereal (among my protein). Lunch would be a sandwich, so 2 slices of break was a single serving. and whatever else was around. So on and so forth. I rarely would eat rice or pasta as my serving. I kept to whole grain fancy breads, yogurts, cereal, or sometimes the buns on burgers were left on. This is were I deemed my need calorie intake.
The real Carb that should be taken in, as much as possible, are your dark greens. These are the life savers for the diet of meat, meat, with some meat and bread on the side. Pile a few handfuls of baby spinach, green peppers, and whatever else is around (avoid lettuce, it sucks) and chow down. If you need dressing then I am sure I will make fun of you. Just stick with oil and vinegar if your too uptight about it. This will input the necessary fiber that we need to not seem completely un healthy to anyon who doesnt care much about looking food naked.
Fruits: Eat them, one apple, a banana, whatever berries you can if you can get em. if you don't eat fruit its about as bad as not drinking protein at this point.

There are the essentials for a proper diet, laid out hopefully simply. Eat alot of protein and as many greens as possible. Supplement this with limited carbs, mainly aim for post workout meals (right after your workout, and other meals that follow that) since they are more useful then rather at any other time.

The essential "why" usually comes up when people are taught or corrected on how to eat. And the best explanation is along the lines of: To get better. Getting better should be the goal of participating in a sport. And if so, to follow that goal several steps need to be taken into consideration. Technique, strength, and recovery are 3 main things in which need improving to get better. Better technique, get stronger and recovery better. Luckily we kill 2 birds with one stone by eating the right diet, not only are we enhancing our recovery but we are helping our bodies get stronger by eating more protein! A beautiful relationship exists between eatings protein and getting stronger, and its very simple, unlike anything going on currently in the tabloids. Eat more, get stronger, get recovered!
So, do these things and you will surely be ahead of the game when it comes time to compare notes on who is improving and who isnt. Remember we must lay a sturdy foundation to build upon. such a foundation cannot be built if certain details like diet and recovery are being ignored.
-GFH

Why do you warm up?

There are probably several really fundamental reason why we warm up, a lot have to do with some nuero musclular systematic things. Some have to do with blood flow in your muscles. Some may have to do with sparking up your Central nervous system, or "waking that up". There are all sorts of reasons. Some "regular" people would just say -so we dont pull muscles, so we dont get hurt.
I warm up so my work out doesnt suck. So lets build off of that. Because as GFHer's go, we want the most of our workouts, we want them to be productive, efficient, and well... not shitty.
Here is an example:
My workout was push lower, so I am going into the gym ready to do 8x3. My aim is not to max or go crazy, but the heavier I can go with the weight still feeling light is fucking ideal. So I want that. We all want that. But when its crowded and its 7 am I dont always think straight, I am caught off guard. So I rack the bar onto my back with 225 and rep out 5 or 8 times, something like that. Trying to get he blood flowing. I have a paper to write ina few hours and I'm thinking about finals coming up. Im distracted and neglect the fact that I really dont have time to do a proper warm up.
And it showed.
I put 315 on the bar ready to slam 3 reps off the box grunt and get it over with so I can put some man weight on. And it just doesnt happen.... at all. I do the 3 resp and I'm tight, not sweaty, yawning, and distracted. I'm desperately trying to get some sort of a warm up but nothing really seems to help. It sucks, and the feeling is mutual between me and gravity. Gravity wants to do its thing and I want to resist it. but today my friends, gravity got the best of me.
Day 2. Pull workout.
Time to shine, dead lift time right? I swore 405 never felt fucking lighter. What happened btween that monday and tuesday? A warm up. Day 2 I went into the gym, got on the stupid tredmill in front of the news I iether dont care about or dont under stand. ANd ran my 5 or 6 minutes fast slow fast slow fast slow fast slow untill i get sick of watching stupid TV. I'm breathing heavy and sweating. My final put on the treadmill is a full out sprint for 15 seconds. WAKE THAT CNS UP, get it going, crack it up do whatever it takes, its literally the backbone of our work outs. So I take Charle Fransis' advice and do so. I feel wonderful. I take it a step further, as I usually do, and warm up my gluts and abs thoroughly. Spend extra time on these things, all the whileworking through some really light stuff on dead, 135 185 225 275 a few times each, really get it cranking. When I am ready to start my sets at 355 I wait 3 minutes to catch my breath, recharge ATP (yeah buddy) drink water and chalk up. I pulled like a mother fucker that day and the difference is my warm up.
So now Why do we warm up? We warm up becuase we want the most and best out of our workouts. Lift heavy get stronger. So how do we properly warm up?
There are tons of ways to acutally warm up. I am sure everyone has thier own philophy. In the interest of my time in the weight room I make it as simple as possible.
tread mill walk/job for total 5-6 minutes.
GHR 10 reps
Decline abs 10 reps.
Rack on a starting weight for bench/squat/dead (Usually 135, the universal warm up weight) x5 times.
repeat GHR and abs steps.
Repeat starting weight.
Repeat GHR and abs steps.
I work my way up with my starting weights like I mentioned above, all while working in the GHR and abs. Sometimes push ups and things along those lines. For example, when I squat I usually do some good mourning with 135. Blood flow, get sweaty. If you arent sweating by the time you start your lift, chances are its too cold in the weight room, or you're not warmed up enough.
A lot of variations of this can be done. Like jump rope and jog on the basket ball court. Or skip and job and move your arms around. There are tons of different ways to get your blood flowing. But after we do this, there is the icing on the cake, which every fat kid wants. And if you're lifting heavy you certainly a fat kid at some point, is making sure your Central nervous system is fully awake. We need to maximize the communication between our brains and our muscles. Because all movement starts at the brain that needs to be awake. And we do this by "stimulating" our CNS. A few that I really like to do is a full out sprint at the end of my treadmill scheme for 15 seconds. If space is limited, standing vertical jumps in repetition are great. If there is some gym access, standing broad jumps a few 3x3 or something like that is good. Essentially a movement that will spark your brain to wake up, because benching 135 5 times before we throw on 225 really isnt going to get your brain ready to accommodate such a weight.
I see some guys gettin in there, stretching their arms out, moving them around with a 5lb plate and jumping into thier monday chest and tri routine, cuase to them its just another day in the gym.
When I'm racking on 45lb plate's onto the bar in the AM I'm thinking about being another fuckin day at the zoo, so I gear up and get the fuck ready to go.
In summary, it is important to properly warm up so we get the most out of our workouts. For some out there it may change the way you lift completely, becuase you never knew you had that kind of strength in you, all because you weren't allow your CNS to wake up, or not enough blood flow to your pecs to support that measly 185. But now you can! Just warm the fuck UP!
-GFH

Things you should have in your locker

After some careful analysis of many people and stupid things I see in the weight room, I've realized that there needs to be some standard set for those who do not know any better. here is my personal thinking in equipment/clothing/ "stuff" one needs in thier locker to effectivly train in the gym.
-But first things first. If you do not have a locker -GET ONE! It would be very difficult to defend to me as to why you do not have a locker. Its everything you need to get your lift on WHERE you get your lift on! Too many times I've forgetten essentaials (listed below) for an effective workout.

1. A pair of shoes* that are not the one worn to get to the gym. that is to say: buy a pair of cross trainers to work out in! Some shoe's just dont give the look of looking like you know what the fuck you are doing. Airwalks is a good example, converse, and dare I say -timberline boots. Fuckin sucks, but I have seen it before. A simple pair of cross trainers will get you through your warm up and all of your lifts. Keep your feet comfortable and your body in the right positions when lifting, starting with your feet.

2. A water bottle. If you do not carry opne with you everywhere you go like myself, then have something to drink water out of. Now, not everyone likes to do this for some reason the invonvience of traveling to the water fountain -where ever it may be- is all to alluring for some people. Dodging bicepers, the guy throwing punches into the thin air, and mirror hogs isnt my cup of tea by trying to get to the water fountian, just have your bottle! Some use it as a "rest" by going over the fountain. which leds me into my next point

3. A wrist watch. If you arent timing your rest, you're taking too much of it. who the fuck needs to walk ALL the way to the water fountain and back between lateral shoulders raises!! -15 seconds and GO! Gez.

4. Spandex under garments. I know you think it's cool to sport smiley face boxers, and I'm sure the girl who isnt blowing you loves them too, but when I'm knocking a 500lb leg press (assitance work!!) and you bend over, I rather not notice you are potentially chaffing the shit out of your dong. Guys, keep it all together and get a pair of spandex. Nothing moves with you quite like it. If your squating, box jumps, sprinting, you gotta have something thats just like another layer of skin. I've seen guys complain thier underwear was too "un fit" during thier squat. I mean come on!

5. Chalk. Its cheap, its easy to carry around, and its damn vital if you're slipping on the bar. My deadlifts become twice as enjoyable if I am not wiping my sweaty hands on my mesh/synthetic shorts not doing SHIT for drying them up. Chalk will change the way you grip a heavy bar.

6. Caffine pills. If your over 18 and not a steady meth user, Caff pills are vital. I am hitting the weights heavy in the AM and I want to be damn as hell as awake I can get at 7-730 when that bar is getting loaded up. And for the smart ones who use it sparingly, take it as you need it. Sluggish day or a damn ass heavy day.

7. Protien powder. There really is no need that I can see for people to have thier shake around with them when in the gym. Go down to your locker after the lift, and make a damn shake. I take my 5 lb bags and split them up into ziplock bags to have protien in the various places I spend time in. (this also means you shuold have a shaker.)

8. Straps. Lifting straps are great, for similar reasons that chalk is great. the two used in conjunction will be a sure fire way to look badass in the gym. but you know what isnt bad ass? wearing your straps for pushing movments// when you dont need them. So please, for the power lifters sake -Do not wear your straps around like its part of your outfit. Use as needed. (I.e not while benching).

* Cross trainers are good to have especially for the warm up. But this doesnt give you an excuse to ask why I take my shoes off while lifting squats/deads. Ask some one who cares.
That pretty much wraps up the essentials of any locker. I did this based on things I see a lot in the weight room and it figures to me that most people just dont take the time to put it all together and make it easy on themselves.
Eat plently of turkey and cranberry
-GFH

No more conventional squats!?!?

YES! That is correct according to Mike Boyle! Here is the scoop. Mike boyle as this 5 minute presentation online, that is part of a large DVD installment. The link portrays that this Mike Boyle has been saying NO to the regular good old conventional squat that we t-men, meat heads-gym rats, and other not fucking terrible idiots know we should be doing. Of course, Before I go any further, here is the link to the five minute video:
http://www.functionalstrengthcoach3.com/squats.html
Watch it? Good. -Lets discuss why we should know this is stupid.
First off, in the list above the video it goes on that Mike Boyle says no to squats and states that we should watch the video to see WHY we should no longer squat. Unfortunately for these people, I -like may others, am actually educated as a scientist and understand how to apply the scientific method, Mike Boyle on the other hand..... Not so much.
Notice in the video it is never actually explained why I should not be squatting. He says squat is a back ex cerise not a lower body exercise. and that is just about all that is addressed about squatting. He goes on and on about just people with some weight on their backs -Field a good question and pulls of some statistical bullshit.
God damn. Let us re examine this. If one is going to make a statement like "I no longer thing we should use benching as a chest exercise!" I fully expect a great follow up as to why I should only consider my bench excerise as a triceps workout instead of pecs. Instead, Boyle presents some "back calculations" that don't quite match up with peoples squatting performance. Therefore, there is no fucking reason supplied to me as to why I shouldn't fucking be squatting.
To a lot of people a surprise might slip up as to a general statement of do not do squats any more! -I was not. The only thing that surprised me about this video is that he called out the t-nation crowd in the beginning, which got me interested. Only to be brutally turned down when he started bringing up the calculations for one legged squats into regular back squats. I really wish we could put a rest to these things and go old school and just write our shit down and go back o it in 5 weeks to see if we got any fucking stronger.
So far, Mike Boyle should just be sorry that such a video is presented with a crowd, such as myself, who do something else besides shoot juice drink beer and try to pick up make up bogged down whores. Cause every damn tool on the planet will "click here" to see further reason why whatever the fuck he's (maybe she?) doing in the gym is backed up by some crack pot.

Anyway, Mike Boyle sometimes brings these things out "to get people thinking". Which I fully respect. I want people to re evaluate why we squat. So I say go to www.t-nation.com and type in SQUAT and by all means read away. You will surely go insane from all the information out there as to why I want to put 500 damn pound on my back whenever I so much as wanna grow a pound of muscle. Its just something us GFH ma-fa's gotta do.
If reading isn't your thing, which it probably isnt because the illitercy rate among people who go to the gym is drastically increasing with the usage of Winstrol-V, then check out this hilarious link which sums up my life and many others. But towards the middle lists a plethora of reasons why we squat. Mostly for the hormonal response we get when a spinal load is applied. Our bodies basically respond with "grow" -which is a recipe for looking good naked.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nppzGV1U8y8

My last point may not round out a totally coherent argument, but there is no need to do so in my opinion, really just trying to point out some meager detials. What is so conventional about a back squat anyway? Last time I checked kicking off your shoes, putting a box under you and slapping some plates and bending a bar was the odd-ball thing to do in a gym judging by all the stares I get. If somebody wants to see something "non-conventional" than lets put that bar on our clavicle for some front squats ass-to-floor or man-the-fuck-up and zercher squat until your elbows are bruised up from your loaded bar. Furthering this point, why not ditch the pussy pad, learn to grip the bar properly, and start training like you really mean it. -If you can think of something to replace a "conventional" squat -something that puts a shit ton of weight on my spine so I feel like my legs are useless afterwards -please enlighten me. As for now, I'll stick to my heavy back squats before you catch me one leg squatting with a weight vest and dumbbells.
-GFH